Oh really? Thanks, but no thanks because I’ve already seen her naked in person.
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Anonymous asked: Hey pal, remember that girl you took to prom, the one that girl you obsess over. I have her naked pics and im willing to give you them for free!!!! |
jimothyshalpert-deactivated2017:
Me walking Phyllis down the aisle was supposed to be the highlight of the wedding. And now the wedding has no highlight.
I can’t believe I pushed that guy’s lazy ass around all day until he was ready to stand up and steal the show. Well, I got news for you, Albert, if that’s your real name. The show’s not over.
I can’t pay for your college, but…
Translating Male Speech Patterns
Boy: “Come over let’s watch Netflix and cuddle.”
What he really means: “let’s cuddle and watch the first five minutes of an episode of hoarders until I get a boner and then I’m gonna poke you with it until we end up having sex to the soundtrack of a man crying because his daughter is making him admit he doesn’t need 17 flathead screwdrivers”
